Younger writers often think that they must use a variety of large words and complex sentences in their writing in order to sound “smart.” However, more often than not this results in needlessly wordy sentences, as well as redundancy. This can create awkwardness in your writing. Look out for these common mistakes that result in awkwardness.
Redundancy is the needless repetition of words or phrases in a sentence. Redundancy can create awkwardness as it draws out sentences unnecessarily.
The information about the river in the first sentence is then repeated and expanded upon in the second sentence. To make this sentence more concise, we can combine the ideas about the river.
There are many redundant phrases we use daily without even thinking about it:
Idioms are sayings that have a culturally understood meaning that is different than the literal meaning. Idioms are usually pretty concise, so if you notice a written idiom that sounds awkward or drawn out, it may need to be edited.
Add clarifying statements when they are essential to the content of the paper. Needless clarification or unnecessary information doesn’t add anything to the paper, and will make it sound awkward.
The italicized part of the sentence is not relevant to the first part of the sentence and distracts from the flow of the story. Since the Lincoln Memorial is a commonly known monument, it is not necessary to add clarification.
Young writers sometimes think that using “simple” words makes a paper “non-academic,” while using longer words will make the writing sound smarter. This is sometimes done by using a thesaurus for every word. However, this can result in an unclear, distorted meaning.
While this sentence may technically make sense, it reads awkwardly and is unnecessarily wordy.